Friday, February 4

How to Please Your Teenager

Pleasing your teenager is not something that is likely to crop up when you're at your wits end trying to somehow balance the need to make a living and the art of staying sane. And anyway, you are more likely to reach for that credit card when the need to please your teen does inevitably crop up around birthdays and other such annual events.


how to please your teenHow to please your teen almost always is considered simultaneously along the same lines as how much does it cost and how long is the warranty for. It does not have to be that way. In fact that line of thought can only help to make your relationship with your teenager one of mere commercial value where you equate your love for your child with a certain amount of money that you are able to or willing to spend on him or her. This road to your teen's heart is not the sanest of choices; you are bound to hit hurdles or even lose your way completely. It's better to find alternate ways to please your teenager—ones that do not entail reaching for your wallet.

troubled teenI can't help but point out that the best way to please your teenager would be to forge a loving relationship long before they hit the turbulent troubled teens. If they remember you as having been always there for them in their early years, you'll always have a place in their heart that no amount of money can buy. If you haven't exactly been that much of a Dad or Mum, it's still not too late. There are ways of pleasing your teen and forging a relationship notwithstanding any turbulent chapters in your parenting history.

Pay attention. If you can convince your teen that you are genuinely interested in what they are saying, doing, or even thinking about, you will win their trust. And that trust is the basis for a truly solid relationship.

Being non-judgemental. It is almost instinct on the part of some parents to jump to conclusions, get on a high horse and get all judgmental the moment the teenager draws breath to talk. This shuts them up for good. And it's your own damned fault if they are always on facebook spilling their guts to strangers. Teenage is the time you're given to make mistakes and learn from them so you emerge as a possibly sadder, but definitely wiser adult at the end of this period. Help them through it.

how to please your teenagerKeep your cool. It may not be the easiest thing to do when confronted with all sorts of irrational behaviour and arrogant mouthiness. But you have to keep in mind that you are the adult in this relationship. So you need to give up on the ranting, shouting, crying, and sulking and act your age before you can expect your teen to do the same. Stop when you feel things escalating beyond control. You don't have to have the last word. Wait till things have cooled down and you are sure the both of you can sit down and have a decent conversation. Your teen will be grateful.

Show support. Yet another way of pleasing your teen is by actively supporting them in what they do. It's not just flinging a random; You can do it, Sparky, their way. It's by following up and showing real interest and helping in whatever way you can with whatever it is that they are involved at the moment, whether it is a lowly art project or rocket science. Don’t discourage them by bringing up half-complete or abandoned projects from the past.

Treat their friends with respect. Now you may not like all their friends. If you are certain that one of them is up to no good, discuss it with your teenager. Do not make disparaging remarks or insult the friend; this will only make your teenager more determined and defensive.  Treat this friend with respect but be open as to your opinion. Ask your teenager to keep an eye out and take care because as far as you can see, that person's trouble. But leave it to your child to make the decision.

These are a few things that you can do to please your teenager. Of course, you will have your own ideas on the topic ranging from baking her favourite blueberry pie to ensuring he has fresh underwear. It would be great if you can share your own views as to how you please your teen. 

4 comments:

  1. Funny you should mention blueberry muffin.It played a huge roll in my bonding with my teenage boy.

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  2. Sometimes that's all it takes, :)

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  3. Teenagers sometimes react badly to too much parental involvement. How are parents supposed to figure this out?

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  4. Jimmy, I suppose you have to read the signals right. You could take it one step at a time instead of going all out to take control of the situation. Sometimes they just need to know you're there in the background.

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